Clone Wars Facebook Facepalms
by purplewillowtrees
Summary: See the Clone Wars characters day to day lives upon Facebook! See the awkwardness, the humour and the insainment known as FB conversations upon the Star Wars Universe
1. Revenge For Maul

**Hilariously i have another story out! Its quite simple ones though so i am ok really! Prepare for the humour, the comedy of**

**Star Wars and Facebook Facepalms**

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**Chapter 1: Revenge for Maul**

Darth Maul walked round his ship, his hands being rung between each other. Kenobi had slipped through his fingers thanks to Ventress and now he was in deep doodoo. Savage was flying the Turtle Junker back to Dathomir whilst he thought things over. He decided to sit down on the very spot he nearly killed Obi Wan and flipped up his laptop.

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**Darth Maul wants revenge on Kenobi.**

**Obi Wan:** You need a life

_Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano and the Jedi Order like this_

**Darth Maul:** You did not just say that?

**Obi Wan:** Uhh yeah I did!

**Savage Oppress:** Don't gang up on my bro, you sliced him in half

_Darth Maul likes this_

**Anakin Skywalker:** He was trying to kill him

_Obi Wan Kenobi likes this_

**Darth Maul:** Stay out of this runt

_Savage Oppress, Ahsoka Tano and Obi Wan Kenobi like this_

**Anakin Skywalker:** Obi Wan, Ahsoka how could you like that post? *Goes of crying*

_Darth Maul likes this_

**Ahsoka:** Oh geeze!

_Yoda likes this_

**Obi Wan Kenobi:** Since when are you on facebook Master Yoda?

**Yoda:** Since found out the Jedi were on here hmm

**Ahsoka Tano:** Awkward Turtle!

_Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Darth Maul and Savage Oppress like this_

**Darth Maul:** Wait Savage if you're on facebook then who's flying the ship?

**Savage Oppress:** Errr

**Darth Maul:** Facepalm

_Ahsoka Tano likes this_

**Darth Maul:** Stop liking my posts

_Ahsoka Tano, Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker like this_

**Darth Maul:** God damn it!

**Yoda:** In a small facebook related predicament we are in

**Obi Wan Kenobi:** …

_Darth Maul likes this_

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Darth Maul put the lid of his laptop down and chuckled to himself over the recent posts that had come up on his facebook profile. The conversation between himself and Kenobi and lightened him up and perhaps made him take a shine to the Jedi Master.

**Purplewillowtrees:** "Wait what? Did I just write that?

**My brain:** Errr yep

_Purplewillowtrees likes this_

Darth Maul looks towards me with a look of epic confusion.

"Since when are you in the Star Wars Universe?" he asked me.

"Urr since now!" I reply, walking out of the door and leaving him standing there in epic confusion.

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**Darth Maul in epic state of confusion**

_Obi Wan Kenobi likes this_

**Darth Maul:** Thanks so much for the compassion Kenobi

**Obi Wan Kenobi:** No problem!

_Anakin Skywalker likes this_

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**Any Requests for Chapters just pop it into a review and i'll see what i can do. Next Chapter 'Joining the Sith and Awkward Arguments'**


	2. Joining the Sith and Awkward Arguments

**Authors Note: As promised i would continue with this story until it was deleted by the MOD just so the people following this story and who also follow me can enjoy it until the end. I hope you enjoy and I also hope this stays just a little longer. **

**Please R&R and i'll update soon**

**Purplewillowtrees xxx**

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**Chapter 2: Joining the Sith and Awkward Arguments.**

He looked around; the darkness seemed like a light that enfolded round him as he sat in the silence. The only ominous sound that seemed prominent was the sound of his brother shouting, probably at his computer screen again. He logged on to his computer and felt the light blind his eyes as he logged onto his screen name.

Savage looked at the random messages that continued to pop upon his profile screen, his eyes popping at the conversations that continued to follow. He decided to check out another profile that would consist of people he was best buddies with.

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**Savage Oppress is surrounded by mad people**

_Count Dooku likes this_

**Count Dooku: **How are you still alive?

**Savage Oppress:** Mother Talzin

**Count Dooku:** I will take down that witch

_General Grievous likes this_

**Count Dooku:** Grievous lead an attack against Dathomir

**General Grievous: **But I don't want to, I need to finish of ironing your pink apron

_Savage Oppress likes this_

**Count Dooku:** …

**General Grievous:** What?

**Ventress: **Looks like Dooku has gotten you on his chores now I'm not there

**Savage: **Ventress

**Ventress:** Savage

_Count Dooku likes this_

**Ventress: **Stay out of this Dooku

_Savage Oppress likes this_

Savage flipped his screen back to the profile he was on originally to see a huge argument in place.

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**Obi Wan Kenobi wishes he had aimed for Darth Maul's neck instead of his torso.**

_Anakin Skywalker and Qui Gon Jinn like this_

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Master Jinn your alive!

**Qui Gon Jinn:** Err not exactly, still dead but on the angel version of facebook

**Obi Wan Kenobi:** …

_Darth Maul likes this_

**Darth Maul:** Well I wish I dug deeper into you Masters gut

_Darth Sidious likes this_

**Qui Gon Jinn:** Well that's not very nice

_Obi Wan Kenobi likes this_

**Darth Maul:** Stay out of this Jinn

_Darth Sidious likes this_

**Anakin Skywalker:** Well this isn't awkward at all then!

_The Jedi Order like this_

**Obi Wan Kenobi:** Shut up

_Darth Maul and Darth Sidious like this_

**Anakin Skywalker: **Um who's Darth Sidious?

_Obi Wan Kenobi likes this_

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **I have no idea, sounds like a sith lord

**Anakin Skywalker: **Well no sith Sherlock

_Darth Maul and Darth Sidious like this_

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Stop liking my posts

**Anakin Skywalker: **Techinically they aren't your posts they're mine

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Shut up

_Darth Maul likes this_

"Brother, you must learn to control your feeling. Don't argue over Facebook, it is not the way the Sith" Savage shouted to Maul, who he could hear continuously shouting at his computer screen. There was a faint smash in the background and Savage shook his head. _'That reminds me, need to make a list'._

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**Savage Oppress needs to make a list. Number 1 thing – Get a new computer that Maul cannot smash.**

_Obi Wan Kenobi likes this_

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Lol am I responsible for this?

**Savage Oppress: **Errr yeah

**Ahsoka Tano: **Master Kenobi may I just remind you it isn't right for a man of your age to be saying 'Lol'

_Anakin Skywalker likes this_

**Anakin Skywalker: **Lol Master, you just got pwned!

**Ahsoka Tano: **Its not right for you Master either. Your just not with the kids no more. STOP trying to get down with da kids

**Anakin Skywalker: **What?

**Obi Wan Kenobi:** Basically you just shut up

_The Jedi order likes this._

**Anakin Skywalker:** I hate you all

"Wow that was weird today" I say to myself as I flick my laptop screen down, walking from my room. Long day, not just for me but also for the Jedi I can tell.

"OI MAUL you got any poptarts?" I shout out to the cockpit, hearing a grumble and the sound of rummaging in cupboards.

"Brother, my apprentice how many times have I told you? You're not to get addicted to poptarts again they're dangerous and not to mention delicious!" Maul shouts to me.

**Purplewillowtrees:** Why am I writing about poptarts? I don't even know what they are!

**Darth Maul:** Why are you still here? (Reference to previous chapter!)

**Purplewillowtrees:** urrr I don't know actually, I was looking for…no one and I stuck around. Decided to raid your fridge. You have great taste in cheese!

**Darth Maul:** …


	3. Missing

**Authors Notes/ I am genuinlly suprised with how quickly I updated this!**

**Reviews**

**Weathergirl17248: **Thanx :D

**Jedi-TARDIS-Chick101: **hahaha! They sound very strange though!

**Purplesabre66: **Wow thanx! I now know what poptarts are **(Guys this is what poptarts are for those wondering - Pop-Tarts is a brand of rectangular, pre-baked toaster pastries made by the Kellogg Company.) **haha it is always nesossary to say LOL!

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**Chapter 3: Missing **

Darth Maul looked towards his belt, feeling as though something was missing. It felt light, nothing seemed to smack into the side of his metallic legs as he walked. Then he saw it, his lightsaber his pride and joy was gone.

**Missing – Darth Mauls lightsaber. Return it and die**

_ Ahsoka Tano likes this_

**Darth Maul: **Why are you liking this?

**Ahsoka Tano: **Dunn no

_Anakin Skywalker likes this_

**Ahsoka Tano: **You don't have anything to do with this do you Master?

**Anakin Skywalker: **Me pff Snips. Such a harsh accusation

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Right

**Darth Maul: **Kenobi give me my lightsaber or face the wrath of me

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Err no. Because 1) I don't have it and 2) You'll come and try to kill me no matter what anyways so bye

_The Jedi Order like this_

**Darth Maul: **I hate you

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **I know you do!

**Ahsoka: **BTW Maul I have a message for you from your legs. They say they miss you!

Maul frowned and flipped his screen down, why did he have to always be right. No not this time, someone had his sabre he knew it had to be Skywalker or Kenobi or that little slime Tano. Only they were so cunning, so crafty so…annoying! No he needed a plan and he had the perfect idea.

**Darth Maul wants to talk to Kenobi in private chat**

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **What do you want Maul?

**Darth Maul: **You forgiveness

_Obi Wan Kenobi is currently unavailable at this present time due to the fact that he is choking on his chocolate chip cookie_

**Darth Maul: **O.k.

_Obi Wan Kenobi has finished choking_

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **What's the catch?

**Darth Maul: **No catch just want to meet up for a coffee

**Anakin Skywalker: **DON'T DO IT MASTER

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Err Anakin this is a private chat

**Anakin Skywalker: **Nothing is private with me around MUHAHAHAHA

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Shut up Anakin

_Darth Maul likes this_

**Anakin Skywalker: ** Just trying to save your ass

**Purplewillowtrees: **That's my job

**Anakin Skywalker: **…

**Obi Wan Kenobi: **Time and date

**Darth Maul: **In about 10 minutes

_Obi Wan Kenobi likes this_

"Its done brother" Maul shouted to Savage who sat in the cockpit face palming. Secretly he had been reading the whole conversation between the two and needless to say he had a bad feeling about it. "Prepare for landing"

I walked through the halls of the ship, feeling as we began our descent upon the planets surface. In one of my hands my sabre rest gently in it, the metallic metal cooling my skin, in the other a pack of brie (Well I did say I raided Maul's fridge of his cheese!)

"So what is your plan my brother" I hear Savage say as I hide quickly round a corner and eavesdrop.

"We get Kenobi. Easy as that."

"What about the girl" _'Oh shit'_ I think as I back off and quickly pull up Facebook on my mobile.

**Purplewillowtrees is in deep shit right now!**

**Ahsoka Tano: **What's happened this time

**Purplewillowtrees: **I stole Darth Mauls cheese from his fridge and I think they want it back

**Ahsoka Tano: **Give it to them then

**Purplewillowtrees: **I can't…its Brie!

**Darth Maul: **Hello there

**Purplewillowtrees: **Oh shit

**Darth Maul: **Oh shit indeed

**Purplewillowtrees: **Ahsoka tell Obi Wan that…

Then the world went black.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

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**CLIFF HANGER!**


	4. Chapter 4: Lonely In The Dark

**A new chapter guys! Today however it is slightly different, there are no facebook bits. May be for a few chapters whilst I am...in danger of being eaten alive by Darth Maul!**

**Review time!**

**SpiritArcher55 - **ahaha yes cliff-hangers

**Purplesabre66 - **Thank you ^^ That could be a very funny thing to see too XD

**anidoriclonewrit (guest) - I don't know what ninjango is XD I wouldn't be able to claim someone else's work. I think you should get an account and proudly put your work on :D**

**KarateDiva28 - **Here it is!

**R12Fizzy - **Here is some more for you!

**I am looking for some people to put into future chapters! You may become lucky and be one of them!**

**Please R&R**

**Purplewillowtrees xxx**

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**Chapter 4: Lonely in the Dark**

My head pound, it was like something had been struck to the side of it. What had happened? I felt my hand rub against the side of my head, feeling a lump rising. I felt sick, what had happened? Maul had snuck up behind me whilst I was explaining to Ahsoka what had happened, where was Obi Wan. Had Maul already captured him? I reached round to find my phone but I grabbed nothing but air. I felt a groan rip through my throat again; I couldn't contact anyone, catch up on any news. I hear footsteps come closer; I slowly backed away into the cold wall, feeling the water dew spreading across my hair. The door slowly opened and a droid walked in, holding a tray with a bowl and a glass.

He put it down in a small brick ledge and left quickly. Cautiously I got up from my corner, slowly edging towards the tray. The bowl contained some form of liquid; it had large chunks, which looked like pieces of ham but it was a green coloured and looked putrid. I smelt it and recoiled from it, making me want to be sick. I could see why they had given me the water; slowly I lifted the bowl to my mouth and drank it, feeling the lumps drain down my throat. It tasted like it had already been processed in someone else's throats, I felt bile rising in my throat and quickly reached for the glass of water. I let the liquid crawl down my throat but quickly spat it out onto the ground, it tasted metallic and dirty. There were pricks of dirt lacing the water making me choke.

I pushed the tray aside in disgust and stood up; I tried to look through the window but it was too high for me to reach. I needed to get out; there was no exit to crawl through.

"Damn it" I shouted out loud, kicking over the tray and spilling the water and soup.

"Don't you like your accommodation my dear?" a sinister voice speaks from the shadows a glowing pair of eyes staring out at me.

"No I don't" I snapped back, turning my head away from the shadow. I felt something grab around my throat like an invisible force, it began to crush my windpipe and I began gasping for air. It suddenly stopped and I dropped back to the ground, sucking in the air around me.

"Why am I here" I gasped out, hearing the shadow shuffle.

"I would have thought it was obvious"

"It's because I raided your fridge of cheese. Look I'm sorry, I can buy you better cheese than that crap you had in your fridge" I heard a deep breath and another set of footsteps enter the room.

"Brother how about you…go cool your head" a husky voice said in the shadows. I heard Maul leave the room; an occasional clatter hit the ground.

"So what did I do to deserve this, use to much of your wifi, raid your fridge. What did I do?" I demanded looking towards the tall shadow.

"All that and more. Let's just call it 'you know too much'" Savage laughed slightly, throwing something into my lap and closing the door again and leaving me in total darkness. Well not total darkness, curiously he had thrown in my phone. Why? Surely he realised that I could contact some people, have them help me to escape. He must have made a mistake. Quickly I turned my phone on, trying to connect to my Internet.

"Blast" I shouted out, there was no mistake in giving me back my phone. I had no way of getting to my facebook to warn anyone about what had happened, the only thing I could use was the torch to keep me from getting lonely.

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**And another cliff-hanger, I haven't decided what's happened to Obi...yet!**


End file.
